Barack Obama (D-Kenya) Forces the CEO of GM to Resign

 Amusing  Comments Off on Barack Obama (D-Kenya) Forces the CEO of GM to Resign
Mar 302009
 

Government control of private businesses is the essence of fascism… Mussolini-Style Corporatism!

The Obama administration asked Rick Wagoner, the chairman and CEO of General Motors, to step down and he agreed, a White House official said.

On Monday, President Barack Obama is to unveil his plans for the auto industry, including a response to a request for additional funds by GM and Chrysler. The plan is based on recommendations from the Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry, headed by the Treasury Department.

The White House confirmed Wagoner was leaving at the government’s behest after The Associated Press reported his immediate departure, without giving a reason.

General Motors issued a vague statement Sunday night that did not officially confirm Wagoner’s departure.

“We are anticipating an announcement soon from the Administration regarding the restructuring of the U.S. auto industry. We continue to work closely with members of the Task Force and it would not be appropriate for us to speculate on the content of any announcement,” the company said.

Read more…

Sudden Adult Death Syndrome: Man Dies While Using Wii Fit

 Amusing  Comments Off on Sudden Adult Death Syndrome: Man Dies While Using Wii Fit
Mar 302009
 


So, how long before the Wii is labeled a death machine and people will be encouraged to boycott it?

A MAN of 25 collapsed and died moments after playing Nintendo Wii Fit games.

Labourer Tim Eves had been jogging on the spot as he used the machine in his home.

Then he keeled over in front of his girlfriend Emma Tuck and best pal Lewis Hickin.

Emma, 26, and Lewis, 25, tried desperately to revive him but he was declared dead on arrival at hospital despite the efforts of paramedics.

Tim, a scout leader who enjoyed cycling, fishing and playing drums in a rock band, had been fit and well.

The tragedy happened the day he got home to Hopton-on-Sea, Norfolk, after visiting parents Alan and June in Portugal to celebrate his mum’s 50th birthday.

It is believed he might have been a victim of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome.

June said: “We spoke to him on the phone when he was playing the Wii. He told us he had just ordered himself a kebab and was sitting there with a glass of port. A little while after he collapsed.”

Shocked Emma said: “I love Tim loads and will miss him so much.”

Source…

Other Questions

 Amusing  Comments Off on Other Questions
Mar 302009
 

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path.

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The He11 Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids.

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn’t work?
A Stick.

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn’t Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean and Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What’s The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don’t Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. What’s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! and a Bad Skydiver Goes Dang, Whack!

21. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody’s Gonna Lose A Trailer!

 Posted by at 4:46 am  Tagged with:

The Irish Bagpiper

 Jokes  Comments Off on The Irish Bagpiper
Mar 302009
 


As a bagpiper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery in the remote countryside and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost and being a typical man, did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew who were eating lunch but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness and stepped to the side of the open grave where I saw the vault lid already in place.

I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played and I played like I’d never played before, from Going Home and The Lord is My Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest. I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, “Sweet Jeezuz, Mary’n Joseph, I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

 Older Entries  Newer Entries