Only in America…

  • can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
  • do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke, and then complain at the weight loss center that they cannot lose weight.
  • do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
  • do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  • do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
  • do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
  • can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.