Tag: Wal-Mart
Wal-Mart vs. The Morons
1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.
2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!
3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.
4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.
5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world’s largest private employer, and most speak English.
6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.
7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.
8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.
9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.
10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.
11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth’s population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)
12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to fix the economy..
This should be read and understood by all Americans, Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
To the President and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,
It is now official you are ALL corrupt morons:
A. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
B. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
C. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
D. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to “the poor” and they only want more.
E. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.
F. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
G. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.
You have FAILED in every “government service” you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars.
AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM???
Man In Cow Suit Robs Walmart Of 26 Gallons Of Milk
Walmart shoppers in Stafford County saw the sight of their lives Tuesday night—a cow, on all fours, trying to score gallons of milk.
An 18-year-old man dressed up in a cow suit stole 26 gallons of milk around 10:35 p.m. from the Garrisonville Walmart, Stafford County Sheriff’s spokesman Bill Kennedy said.
The man was apparently crawling while he exited the store, trying to emulate cattle, Kennedy said.
Soon afterward, witnesses told Stafford sheriff’s deputies that the man was handing out the pilfered milk jugs to passersby outside of the Walmart, Kennedy said.
It was unclear Wednesday how he managed to get all of that milk out of the busy store on Garrisonville Road.
Kennedy said that store employees saw the thief “skipping down the sidewalk” in the cow suit before leaving the immediate area.
Stafford County sheriffs said they went to a nearby McDonald’s restaurant for a disturbance call, and the responding officer saw a man — not in a cow suit — there that seemed to match the culprit.
The suspect was taken back to the Walmart, and management confirmed he was the thief of the pasteurized potion.
The cow suit was found in the man’s car, Kennedy said.
Kennedy did not identify the suspect, who was released on a summons to appear in court.
Kennedy admitted the theft was bizarre.
“This is probably one of the most unique efforts of shoplifting I’ve seen,” Kennedy said. “It might’ve been a prank that went wrong, but it isn’t as funny when [the suspect] breaks the law.”
Kennedy said the sheriff’s office didn’t have surveillance video of the theft, but said it would have been interesting to see.
Man Superglued To Wal-Mart Toilet
A Maryland man had to scream for help after getting super glued to a toilet inside a Walmart and an employee had to call 911 for help.
Police won’t say how long the man was stuck, but rescue crews had to unbolt the seat from the toilet and take the man to the hospital with the toilet still attached.
Customers who heard about the prank couldn’t help but laugh.
Authorities have yet to glue down a suspect in the case but they are not amused.
They say whoever is responsible will face second-degree assault charges.
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