Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is Stupid
- The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
- A few clowns short of a circus.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
- A few beers short of a six-pack.
- Dumber than a box of hair.
- A few peas short of a casserole.
- Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.
- One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
- One taco short of a combination plate.
- A few feathers short of a whole duck.
- All foam, no beer.
- The cheese slid off his cracker.
- Body by Fisher – brains by Mattel.
- Has an IQ of 2, takes 3 to grunt.
- Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
- Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
- He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- An intellect rivaled only by that of garden tools.
- As smart as bait.
- Chimney’s clogged.
- Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
- Doesn’t know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
- Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
- Forgot to pay his brain bill.
- Her sewing machine’s out of thread.
- His antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.
- His belt doesn’t go through all the loops.
- If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
- Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
- No grain in the silo.
- Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse..
- Played football without a helmet.
- Receiver is off the hook.
- Several nuts short of a full pouch.
- Skylight leaks a little.
- Slinky’s kinked.
- Surfing in Nebraska.
- Too much yardage between the goal posts.
- Strong, like Bear… Smart, like Tractor.
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