“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” ~ Mark Twain
Happy Father’s Day to all Dads!
Tag: Mark Twain
Great Political Truths
Great Political Truths1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. ~ John Adams 2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. ~ Mark Twain 3. Suppose you were an idiot. 4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. ~ Winston Churchill 5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. ~ George Bernard Shaw 6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. ~ G. Gordon Liddy 7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. ~ P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian 8. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: 9. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ~ Will Rogers 10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! ~ P. J. O’Rourke 11. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session. ~ Mark Twain (1866) 12. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it. ~ Anonymous 13. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. ~ Winston Churchill 14. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. ~ Mark Twain 15. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress. ~ Mark Twain 16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians. ~ Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995) 17. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. |
Philosophers Of The Century
Philosophers Of The Century
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. ~ Betsy Salkind
The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. ~ Harrison Ford
The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan
Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostand
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ WH Auden
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. ~ Jonathan Katz
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson
I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. ~ Warren Tantum (School photo album)
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. ~ Jonathan Winters
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. ~ David Letterman
I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I’m a billionaire. ~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Old Italian proverb
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