The Fart Chart

 AMBITIOUS : Always ready for a fart

 AMIABLE : Likes to smell others’ farts

 ANTI-SOCIAL : Excuses himself and farts in private

 AQUATIC : Farts in bath, then breaks bubbles with toes

 ATHLETIC : Jumps in the air, farts 3 times, and kicks his heels 3 times

 BEWILDERED : Can’t tell his own fart from others

 BIG BULLY : Farts louder than others

 CARELESS : Farts in church

 CHILDISH : Farts and then giggles

 CLEVER : Farts and coughs at the same time

 CONCEITED : Thinks he can fart the loudest

 CONFUSED : Face is so much like an ass, fart can’t tell which way to go

 CUTE : Smells your farts and then tells you what you were eating

 DAMNED MEAN : Farts and then pulls the covers over his wife’s head

 DISHONEST : Farts and then blames the dog

 DISAPPOINTED : Fart doesn’t smell

 DUMB : Enjoys other farts, thinks they are his own

 ENVIRONMENTALIST : Farts regularly but is concerned about the pollution

 FOOLISH : Suppresses a fart for hours

 FRESH GUY : Jumps in front of you and then farts

 GROUCH : Grumbles when ladies fart

 HONEST : Admits he farted but offers a good medical reason

 IMPUDENT : Farts out aloud and then laughs

 LAZY : Just fizzles

 MASOCHIST : Farts in the bath tub and tries to bite the bubbles

 MISERABLE : Can’t fart at all

 MUSICAL : Tenor or Bass, Clear as a bell, smells like shit and sounds like hell

 NERVOUS : Stops in the middle of a fart

 PROUD : Thinks his farts are exceptionally pleasant

 SADIST : Farts in bed, then fluffs the covers

 SCIENTIFIC : Bottles his farts

 SENSITIVE : Farts and then starts crying

 SHY : Blushes when he farts silently

 SLOB : Farts and stains his underwear

 SMART ALEC : Farts when ladies are present

 SNEAKY : Farts and blames it on the dog

 STINGY : Belches to save his ass-hole

 STRATEGIC : Conceals his fart by loud laughter

 THRIFTY : One who always has farts in reserve

 TIMID : Jumps when he farts

 UNFORTUNATE : Tries to fart but shits himself

 VAIN PERSON : One who loves the smell of his own fart

 WHIMPY : Farts at the slightest exertion

 WISE GUY : Farts and asks who shit

Farting Democrats Christmas

Video Description:

As Christmas 2010 approaches, the nation’s top Democrats prove they have no gas shortage, and that they truly believe that is better to give than to receive. Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Barney Frank, Harry Reid, and Nancy Pelosi join forces, in much the same way that they’ve teamed up to shove a last-minute 1900-page Omnibus Spending Bill into taxpayer’s stockings (among other places) for Christmas.

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