Merry Christmas from Grolsch & the Swingtop Philharmonic Orchestra

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Dec 142010
 

Grolsch & the Swingtop Philharmonic Orchestra present a ‘video Christmas card’ featuring a magical rendition of the classic carol ‘Oh, Christmas Tree’ played exclusively on instruments crafted from Grolsch Swingtop bottles.

A re-imagined version of the Christmas favourite by Ernst Anschütz has been arranged by composer Ross Power and is played by the specially assembled ‘Swingtop Philharmonic Orchestra’, a troupe made up of some of the world’s leading musicians and sound engineers.

Led by conductor Thomas Blunt, seven percussionists, woodwind players and a timpanist create a beautiful rendition of the song using sounds dreamed up through each element of the legendary bottle — glass, air, beer and the uniquely ‘Grolsch’ Swingtop.

Dozens of Swingtop bottles provide the score with tuneful pops, clicks, jingle bells, güiro sounds, wind tuned with Grolsch beer, orchestral timpani, bass drum and the sound of a mysterious festive Grolsch ‘glockenspiel’ that provides the story with a stunning seasonal twist and climax.

Beer According to 7 Year Olds

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May 272010
 

A handful of 7 year old children were asked, ‘what they thought of beer.’ Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially touching.

7-year-old Tim – ‘I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the prettier my mom gets.’

7-year-old Melanie – ‘Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want On television when he is asleep, so beer is nice.’

7-year-old Grady – ‘My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn’t think this is very funny.’

7-year-old Toby – ‘My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and The more they drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good thing.’

7-year-old Sarah – ‘My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants sometimes, so he shouldn’t have too much.’

7-year-old Lilly – ‘My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time he danced right into the pool.’

7-year-old Ethan – ‘I don’t like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.’

7-year-old Shirley – ‘I give Dad’s beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.’

7-year-old Jack – ‘My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on my father. Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his bone down the street again, but that doesn’t make any sense.’

Survival of the Fittest

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Apr 262010
 

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff was explaining the “Buffalo Theory” to his buddy Norm. Here’s how it went:

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.

In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”

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