The Three Stooges : You Nazty Spy!

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Mar 172013
 

Who doesn’t remember Sunday mornings spent watching the Three Stooges?

Enjoy!

In the fictional country of Moronica, three munitions manufacturers—Messrs. Ixnay (Richard Fiske), Ohnay (Dick Curtis) and Amscray (Don Beddoe)—decide their country is in need of a change. They decide to implement a dictatorship, oust the king, and go about finding someone stupid enough to be a figurehead leader. Ixnay volunteers the three wallpaper hangers simultaneously working in his dining room—the Stooges.

Ixnay presents Moe Hailstone, Curly Gallstone, and Larry Pebble with the offer to run Moronica. Moe is instituted as the leader (the Adolf Hitler role), with Curly as Field Marshal Gallstone (Field Marshal Herring in They Stooge to Conga) (a representation of Hermann Göring), and Larry as Minister of Propaganda Pebble (a representation of Joseph Goebbels). After his takeover, Hailstone proceeds to give a speech to the masses, cueing Larry to display signs reading “CHEERS”, “APPLAUSE” and even “HISS”. Moe “bonks” Larry after Larry accidentally raises the cue card for “HISS” at the wrong time during one of Hailstone’s speeches. (In this scene Curly is clearly mimicking Benito Mussolini.)

However the daughter (Lorna Gray) of the overthrown king pays Hailstone a visit, going by the name Mattie Herring (a spoof of World War I spy Mata Hari). The Stooges suspect she is a spy after, and attempt to execute her. Then, Larry cuts a round table while a dancer arrives and tells them the delegates are here for the round table meeting. The meeting goes wrong when Curly knocks the first two delegates. While Moe and Curly attempt to again attack the delegates with golf balls, Larry is beaten up by the delegates. Moe joins the fight as Curly knocks the delegates out and declares victory. Later, the king’s daughter gathers a huge mob to storm Hailstone’s palace. The trio quickly abdicate, and flee into a lion’s den. The lions inside spot the Stooges and chase them to their doom; the lions are seen leaving their secluded area wearing the trio’s clothes, with one burping.

 

The Laziest Gun In The World

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Mar 142013
 

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my 30.06 right in the doorway. I gave it 5 shells to go in the clip, and noticing that it had no legs, even placed it in a wheelchair to help it get around. I then left it alone and went about my business.

While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street shoveled the snow, a girl walked her dog down the street, trash man picked up the trash, and quite a few cars went by.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there in the wheelchair, right where I had left it. It hadn’t rolled itself outside. It certainly hadn’t killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn’t even loaded itself.

Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong, and it’s the misuse of guns by PEOPLE that kills people, or I’m in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

Alright, well I’m off to check on my spoons. I hear they’re making people fat.

 

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