Philosophers Of The Century
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay ’em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. ~ Betsy Salkind
The only reason they say ‘Women and children first’ is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. ~ Harrison Ford
The best cure for Sea Sickness, is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan
Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror. ~ Jean Rostand
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ WH Auden
In hotel rooms, I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. ~ Jonathan Katz
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson
I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical. ~ Warren Tantum (School photo album)
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly he would have made it easier to get to the airport. ~ Jonathan Winters
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. ~ David Letterman
I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. Dammit, I’m a billionaire. ~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Old Italian proverb
Did you know that The University Of California, Berkeley and Berkeley College (Yale University) are named after a devout Christian and slave owner?All across the country, centuries-old names that adorn statues, buildings and streets are under siege. Once widely honored in a different era, men whose names are etched on statues and college campuses have become symbols of hate. Mind numbed people inspired in part by, The Alt-Left Media, corrupt politicians and the Black Lives Matter movement, are calling for the removal of these symbols honoring people connected to slavery, colonialism and the Confederacy. Maybe these same people, who are so open-minded their brains are falling out, should demand that these two institutions along with Berkeley California be renamed. Berkeley College (Yale University)Berkeley College is a residential college at Yale University, opened in 1934. The eighth of Yale’s 12 residential colleges, it was named in honor of George Berkeley (1685–1753), dean of Derry and later bishop of Cloyne, in recognition of the assistance in land and books that he gave to Yale in the 18th century. University of California, BerkeleyThe University of California, Berkeley, (also referred to as UC Berkeley, Berkeley, Cal, Cal Berkeley, and California) is a public research university located in Berkeley, California. Founded in 1868, Berkeley is the oldest of the ten research universities affiliated with the University of California system and is ranked as one of the world’s leading research universities and the top public university in the United States. In 1869 Frederick H. Billings was a trustee of the College of California and suggested that the college be named in honor of the Anglo-Irish philosopher George Berkeley. From Yale, Slavery & Abolition:Bishop George Berkeley bought 3-5 slaves during his brief stay in the New World between 1728 and 1731, to work on his Rhode Island plantation, Whitehall. When Berkeley returned to Europe in 1731, he donated the plantation to Yale. Yale turned payments from the plantation into its first set of scholarships. At this time, the plantation likely continued being worked by slaves. Charles Handy leased Whitehall farm from Yale, and sent Yale payments that would fund scholarships. The Rhode Island census, in 1774, shows that the household of Charles Handy included: “Blacks: 4”. It is likely that these four black people included in Handy’s household were slaves. In his study of slavery in the 1774 Rhode Island census, Louis Masur explains:
The density of slave owning white households in Newport county in 1774 was almost as high as the density of slave owning white households in the American South during the Civil War. It would be normal for someone farming a Newport plantation to use slaves to work the land. Words etched into the floor of Berkeley College today explain:
George Berkeley had slaves working his plantation until he left in 1731. The profits earned by leasing the Whitehall plantation after 1732 funded Yale’s first scholarships. The person leasing the plantation around the time of the 1774 census included four black people as members of his household, and most black people so listed were slaves. Assuming slaves worked the old Berkeley plantation, then Yale’s own land was worked by slaves, and Yale’s first scholarship was funded for up to 50 years with money earned from slave labor. It is for the gift of this plantation that his name is honored today with the name of “Berkeley college“. Berkeley’s SlavesAfter coming to the colonies, Berkeley bought a plantation in Newport, Rhode Island-the famous “Whitehall.” On October 4, 1730, Berkeley purchased “a Negro man named Philip aged Fourteen years or thereabout.” A few days later he purchased “a negro man named Edward aged twenty years or thereabouts.” On June 11, 1731, “Dean Berkeley baptized three of his negroes, ‘Philip, Anthony, and Agnes Berkeley'”. Berekley’s sermons explained to the colonists why Christianity supported slavery, and hence slaves should become baptized Christians:
“The past was erased, the erasure was forgotten, the lie became the truth.” ~ George Orwell, 1984 |
aesthetically challenged – ugly
aquatically challenged – drowning
biologically challenged – dead
blubber lovers – whaler
bovine control officers – Dallas Cowboys
Caucasian culturally-disadvantaged – white trash
certified astrological consultant – crackpot
certified crystal therapist – crackpot
certified past-life regression hypnotist – crackpot
chemically challenged – drug addict
chronologically gifted – old
client of the correctional system – prisoner
codependent – finger-pointer
constructivist psychotherapy – psychobabble
creatively re-dyed – stained
cyclically challenged – having PMS
differently organized – messy
differently-brained – stupid
economically marginalized – poor
energy-efficient – off
environmentally correct human – dead
equal opportunity employee – bisexual hooker
erectionally challenged – impotent
facially challenged – ugly
factually unencumbered – ignorant
fecally plenary – full of crap
female gender biased – prefers women who shave their legs
financially inept – po’
folically independent – bald
genetically discriminating – racist
geological correction – earthquake
gerontologically advanced – old
grammatically challenged – one who has difficulties with grammar or (by extension) punctuation or spelling
gravitationally challenged – fat
horizontally challenged – thin
horizontally gifted – fat
in denial – unaware that forgetting something obviously proves it happened
in recovery – drunk/junkie
intellectually impaired – stupid
living impaired – dead
maintenance hole – man-hole
male gender biased – prefers men who shave their chests
mechanically challenged – broken down automobile
melanin-impoverished – white
metabolically challenged – dead
microslothically challenged – Windows user
monetarily challenged – poor
morally (ethically) challenged – a crook
morally handicapped – someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone
motivationally dispossessed – lazy
musically delayed – tone deaf
nasally gifted – runny nose
nasally gifted – large nose
nitpicklike – humor challenged
one who is PC – target practice
ontologically challenged – fictional or mythological
osmotically challenged – thirsty
outdoor urban dwellers – homeless
people of height – too tall
person of region – redneck
person of substance – fat
persons living with entropy – dead
persons of large stature – NY Giants
petroleum transfer technician – gas station attendent
photonically non-receptive – blind
residentially flexible – homeless
romantically challenged – not with somebody at the moment
rustically inclined – redneck
selectively perceptive – insane
sex care provider – prostitute
sexually focused chronologically gifted individual – dirty old man
socially challenged – geek or nerd
socially separated – convict
spacially perplexed – drunk
street activity index – crime rate
structurally challenged – broken
suffering from a sex addiction (female) – slut
suffering from a sex addiction (male) – stud
target equity group – vocal minority
uniquely coordinated – clumsy
uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path – loser
verbally challenged – mute, dumb
vertically challenged – short
visually challenged – blind
youth group – gang
Remember this?
[arve url=”https://commonsenseevaluation.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Some-People-Are-Sore-Losers.mp4″ /]
“To say you won’t respect the results of the election — that is a direct threat to our Democracy. The peaceful transfer of power is one of the things that makes America, America. And look, some people are sore losers, and we just got to keep going.” ~ Hillary Clinton Charlotte, North Carolina October 23, 2016
Not accepting the results of the election is “a direct threat to our Democracy!” Because fixing the election against Bernie Sanders was an homage to Democracy, right?
And can somebody tell Hillary to read the Pledge of Allegiance. America is not a Democracy. America is a Republic.



