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- A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
- An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
- Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
- Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
- Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
- Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
- Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
- Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
- Dogs may shed, but cats shred.
- Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful
- I had to get rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
- I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
- I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult?
- If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.
- In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
- No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.
- Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
- People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.
- Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.
- Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
- We wonder why the dogs always drink out of our toilets, but look at it from their point of view: why do humans keep peeing into their water bowls?
- When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.
- Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
