0-9: Extremely slow. Even a trip to the store with Mom seems like going to Albania – by covered wagon. Most common phrase: “Is it
Christmas yet?”
10-19: Still slow. Scientific evidence seems to show that school clocks actually move backwards just before the bell rings.
20-29: Alternately fast and slow. Weekends seem shorter and shorter, yet paychecks seem further and further apart.
30-39: Time achieves warp speed, except when put on hold on the telephone and forced to endure anything longer than 5 seconds of Muzak. Most common phrase: “Is it Christmas already?”
40-49: Still fast. Seems like just yesterday when Jerry Brown said he might run for President. Wait a minute! It WAS yesterday when he said that. Also, Dick Clark still looks the same. Could time be slowing down?
60-69: Hey! What happened to 50-59?
70 +: Unbelievably fast. Wars used to last years. Now it seems like they’re over in a couple weeks.
