Guide: Translating Californese into Texan

Translation into Texan of some common California euphemisms…

In California:

Means in Texas:

Diversity/Lifestyle Choice

Sinful and Perverted

Arsenal of Weapons

Gun Collection

Delicate Wetlands

Swamp

Undocumented Worker

Illegal Alien

Cruelty-Free Materials

Polyester

Assault and Battery

Attitude Adjustment

Heavily Armed

Well-protected

Narrow-minded

Righteous

Taxes or Your Fair Share

Coerced Theft

Commonsense Gun Control

Gun Confiscation Plot

Illegal Hazardous Explosives

Fireworks or Stump Removal

Nonviable Tissue Mass

Unborn Baby

Equal Access to Opportunity

Socialism

Multicultural Community

High Crime Area

Fairness /Social Progress

Marxism

Upper Class or “The Rich”

Self-Employed

Progressive, Change

Big Government Scheme

Homeless or Disadvantaged

Bums/Welfare Leeches

Sniper Rifle

Scoped Deer Gun

Investment For the Future

Higher Taxes

Healthcare Reform

Socialized Medicine

Extremist,/Judgmental/Hater

Conservative

High Capacity Magazine

Standard Mag

Religious Zealot

Church-going

Fair Trade Coffee

Overpriced Yuppie Coffee

Exploiters or “The Rich”

Employed/Land Owner

The Gun Lobby

NRA Members

Assault Weapon

Semi-Auto (Grandpa’s M1 Carbine)

Fiscal Stimulus

New/Higher Taxes

Same Sex Marriage

Legalized Perversion

Source…