You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When:
- Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
- You answer the door before people knock.
- You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You’re the employee of the month at the local coffee house and you don’t even work there.
- You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
