Things we know because of TV!
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade…at any time of the year.
All grocery shopping bags contain at least one loaf of French bread.
The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a pretty nurse cleans his wounds.
When paying for a taxi, never look at your money. Just pull out a bill or two and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
If a killer is lurking in your house, it’s easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath even if it’s the middle of the afternoon.
All single women have a cat.
Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the
steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one.
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
Revolvers will fire at least ten or fifteen times without reloading.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps and join in with you.
