On sex, Confucius say…
Virginity like bubble: one prick, all gone.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.
Man kicked in testicles left holding bag.
Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk.
Hole happy, whole body happy.
Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Don’t drink and park, accidents cause people.
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.
Man who plays with self, pulls boner.
Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.
Man’s wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.
Man who suck woman’s tit make clean breast of things.
Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.
Man who lay girl on hillside is not on the level.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.
Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.
Don’t sweat the petty stuff … and don’t pet the sweaty stuff.
