1) Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
2) To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
3) My road to success is always under construction.
4) Alcohol does not solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
5) It’s funny but In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.
6) All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else.
7) Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
8) Everyone has a scheme of getting rich? Which never works until you cheat.
9) If at first you don’t succeed?. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
10) He who has the gold, makes the golden rules and those who don’t have gold follow them.
11) Once you have bought something, you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate.
12) When in a queue, the other line always moves faster and the person in front of you will always have the most complex of transactions.
13) If you have paper, you don’t have a pen! If you have a pen, you don’t have paper! if you have both, no one calls.
14) You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
15) The door bell or your mobile will always ring when you are in the bathroom.
16) Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the cigarette will always flow towards the non-smoker.
A little known fact is that Murphy was an optimist.