Even when opportunity knocks, you still have to get off your ass and open the door.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers.
Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
