1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tyred.
2. A will is a dead giveaway.
3. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
4. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
5. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
6. A calendar’s days are numbered.
7. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
8. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
9. When you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
10. When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she’d dye.
11. Acupuncture: a jab well done.
12. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
13. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
14. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
15. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
16. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.. The police are looking into it.
17. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
18. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
19. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
