Holiday Eating Tips

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Dec 112008
 


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It’s rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skim milk or whole milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year’s. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you’re never going to see them again.

8.Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don’t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? LaborDay?

9.Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don’t feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:

“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”

Have a great holiday season!

The Big 3 Bail-out Plan Includes a Pay Raise For Judges

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Dec 112008
 

So Congress gets its raise, the Judges get a raise, the Union Workers get paid the same even though their over priced contracts are causing the Auto companies to lose tens of billions of dollars.

And you, the American Taxpayer what do you get? Well, the bill of course. Merry Christmas!

America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Pay raise for judges tucked into bailout plan

If the $14 billion bailout plan for U.S. automakers passes, it will help more than just Ford, Chrysler and General Motors. Federal judges would get a pay raise, as well.

The raise — labeled a cost of living adjustment — would bring U.S. District court judges up to par with members of Congress, who will receive an almost $5,000 boost on Jan. 1. District judges and lawmakers now earn $169,300 a year but are expected to be awarded a 2.8 percent raise next year, said Dick Carelli, a spokesman for the Administrative Office of the United States Courts.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., insisted that the judicial pay raise go into the automaker loan measure, which is the only item of business on Congress’ lame-duck agenda.

Under ethics legislation enacted almost two decades ago, members of Congress get a cost of living raise automatically, but they have to vote to give judges an identical raise. Because the spending bill covering U.S. courts has not passed, the step is necessary if judges are going to get their raise.

Even with the raise, judge earn far less than lawyers at big firms, just as members of Congress make less than most lobbyists.

Bailed-out Firms Gave Millions To Underwrite the Democratic and Republican Party Conventions

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Dec 112008
 

Now let me get this straight, the financial firms that bank rolled the conventions are now being bailed out? If you were looking for proof that the US has the best government money can buy here it is.

How much more of this will the hard working peasants take before they start the next revolution?

Report: Bailed-out firms bankrolled conventions

What were major corporations such as AIG, Ford, Citigroup and Freddie Mac doing in the weeks before they asked Washington for taxpayer-funded financial bailouts?

They were donating millions of dollars to underwrite the Democratic and Republican Party conventions.

According to a new report released today by the Center for Responsive Politics in conjunction with the Campaign Finance Institute, the companies were some of the largest sponsors of the political conventions that resulted in the nomination of Barack Obama and John McCain for president.

In the two years spent fundraising for the conventions, CFI claims the two parties only provided the names “they elected to disclose. The institute announced today that the first official host committee reports have been released, and it now has a complete list of donors.

“The two convention host committees raised $118 million, virtually all of it in private funds: $61 million for the Democratic conclave in Denver and $57 million for the Republican one in Minneapolis-St. Paul,” it reveals. “The latter figures are almost four times the separate $16 million each party received from the federal government to support its convention.”

Key industry actors in the current financial crisis gave $14 million to conventions, CFI reports. The following are some of its findings:

  • Freddie Mac gave $500,000, half to each committee.
  • Ford Motor Company donated $200,000 for the conventions, half to each host committee (Also, Kirk Kerkorian, Ford’s largest shareholder with ties to GM and Chrysler, gave $3.5 million).
  • General Motors provided 735 new cars to the Democratic and Republican Party convention committees for elected officials’ use.
  • American International Group, or AIG, gave $1.5 million split evenly between the two committees
  • Hedge funds and their managers gave $3.9 million – $2.7 million to Republicans and $1.2 million to Democrats.
  • Investment companies including Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley, J.P. Morgan Chase, UBS and Lehman Brothers, gave $1.5 million.
  • Other financial institutions that have received or are eligible for bailouts, such as Citigroup, U.S. Bancorps, Wells Fargo, Cobank and Bank of America, donated $2.9 million – much of it was given to the Republican committee.

Finance, insurance and real estate companies gave $24.6 million toward the conventions, according to Center for Responsive Politics, or CRP.

“If the executives who have come to Washington, hat in hand, looked familiar to members of Congress, maybe it’s because they met over the summer at the conventions,” CRP Executive Director Sheila Krumholz said in a statement. “The conventions provided representatives of major corporations and industries with many opportunities to interact with Washington’s decision-makers. Those conversations may have paid off just weeks later, when the government started handing out money to those companies and industries that are struggling.”

The study also found that the drug industry gave $9.8 million to the parties, Internet companies donated $4.1 million to Republicans and $3.1 million to Democrats, while unions representing government employees contributed all of their $2.7 million to the Democrats’ convention in Denver.

Krumholz said, “By taking advantage of the false distinction between a political party and the committee hosting the party’s convention, unions were able to support the Democratic Party in a way that hasn’t been allowed since the days of soft money, when labor was among the biggest givers.”

A Geography Lesson

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Dec 102008
 

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently Aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, Ruled by Nuts.

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