Enraged, Humorless Arabs Threaten to Boycott Nissan

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Aug 102008
 

Does a day ever go by that angry Muslims somewhere aren’t demanding apologies?

A new Nissan commercial airing in Israel has offended the oil-rich Arabs. The commercial shows a group of Arab sheikhs enraged at the sight of a Nissan car known for its fuel efficiency. One man pounds his fists on the car and is then held back by his companions as he shouts at it, “You’ve ruined my house!” (Colloquial Arabic for “You’ve put me out of business!”).

At the end of the commercial, the voice-over says, “It’s clear the oil companies won’t like you.”

The Nissan advertisement is brilliant and perfect for the Western market and all those fed up with the spectacle of trillions of dollars flowing to some of the most undeserving, hostile and greedy people in the world.


Saudi slams ‘racist’ Israeli Nissan ad


Gulf states may boycott the Nissan Motor Company as a result of an Israeli TV commercial that depicts Saudis angered by a fuel-efficient car, a Saudi official has said.

The new campaign by Renault-Nissan caused an uproar in the Gulf when it showed a group of Saudi oil barons screaming and attacking the Renault-Nissan vehicle.

“It’s my opinion that Nissan made a huge error by igniting these [racist] instincts,” official Hani al-Wafa told MBC TV, a Saudi-run station headquartered in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. “We need to apply punishments… against these things. In order for Nissan to keep its interests in the region, it must apologize.”

Israeli advertising and marketing agency Inbar Merhav Shaked, which developed the Renault-Nissan campaign, declined to comment.

In January, Israel partnered with Project Better Place, a company that aims to reduce petroleum dependency through the use of electric cars.

Through the government initiative, Israel hopes to mass-market electric vehicles by 2011. Denmark is also investing in electric cars at a national level.

Project Better Place partnered with Renault-Nissan to provide the electric vehicles featured in the new commercial.

“It’s a humorous campaign that was loved by both the Jewish and Arab worlds,” Daniella Ribenbach, the spokeswoman for Nissan in Israel, told The Jerusalem Post on Wednesday. She declined to make any further comments on the matter.

Hadar Goldman, co-owner of the Zarmon Goldman advertising agency in Tel Aviv, said he hoped Saudis would tolerate humorous and exaggerated commercials.

“If we have a sense of humor, I expect them to have one as well,” he said.

Nissan’s electric vehicle, introduced on Wednesday, is set to go on the market in Japan and the United States in 2010, and globally by 2012.

The car was designed to provide more power than hybrid models, and emits zero emissions.

During test runs, the car was quiet and produced no engine noise – a trademark of electric vehicles. Details such as cruising range have yet to be determined, Nissan officials said.

Having fallen behind rivals Toyota Motor Corp. and Honda Motor Co. in hybrids, Nissan has made the electric vehicle the pillar of its green strategy.

The Saudis are shown leaving a hotel and encountering the new, fuel-efficient vehicle. One man pounds his fists on the car and is then held back by his companions as he shouts at it, “Hawks should peck at you day and night.”

At the end of the commercial, the voice-over says, “It’s clear the oil companies won’t like you.”


Barack Obama: Bamboozling America

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Aug 092008
 

This video raises a question about Obama; is he is the guy who tried to look over your shoulder during exams? He steals whole passages from Malcolm X, Deval Patrick, John Edwards, on and on. His message is not original and his words are not original. No “Change” there!

The American people are the ones really being “bamboozled” by this sweet-talking Flimflam man. It’s all smoke and mirrors.


A look at Obama’s pattern of “borrowing” rhetoric from uncredited sources. Is Obama a plagiarist? See for yourself.

Oxymorons!

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Aug 092008
 

01. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

02. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

03. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

04. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

05. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

06. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?

07. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?

08. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

09. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?

10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?

12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a “wise man” and a “wise guy” opposites?

14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?

15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

What Does it Mean to Give More than 100%?

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Aug 092008
 

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint…

it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.. !

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

 Posted by at 7:11 am  Tagged with:

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

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Aug 092008
 

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It ‘In.’

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ‘ For Sexual Favors’

7. Finish All Your sentences with ‘In Accordance With The Prophecy’

8 Don’t use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go.’

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme?

14.. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name,Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won!, I Won!’

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling:’Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!’

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity……..

Send The Link To This Page To Someone To Make Them Smile. It’s called therapy.

 Posted by at 7:02 am  Tagged with: