Apr 292008
- You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
–Frank Zappa - Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
–Ernest Hemmingway - Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
–Winston Churchill - He was a wise man who invented beer.
–Plato - Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.
–Catherine Zandonella - A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.
–W.C. Fields - Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill;
–His reply, Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
–Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; Sir, you’re drunk!
–Winston Churchill to Lady Astor; Yes, Madam, and you’re ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober and you will still be ugly. - If God had not intended us to drink beer, He would not have given us stomachs.
–David Daye - Work is the curse of the drinking class.
–Oscar Wilde - When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
–Henny Youngman - Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
–Benjamin Franklin - If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
–Deep Thought, Jack Handy - Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
–Dave Barry - The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
–Humphrey Bogart - Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
–David Moulton (No more warm beer for Teddy) - People who drink light “beer” don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
–Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI - Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
–Kaiser Wilhelm - I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
–Homer Simpson - Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
–Dave Barry - I drink to make other people interesting.
–George Jean Nathan - They who drink beer will think beer.
–Washington Irving - An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools.
–For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway - You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
–Dean Martin - All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.
–Homer Simpson - I swear, I will never drink again….
–Half the population of the planet earth as they cling to the spinning bed or the porcelain god… - Bartender.. I’ll take another….
–Same people next friday
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