Star Magazine’s Perfect Face

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Feb 252008
 

This is hilarious! Star Magazine put together the perfect face for a man and woman using the results of a survey by Beverly Hills plastic surgeons Toby Mayer and Richard Fleming. Star morphed the most requested celebrity body parts to create the perfect male and female faces. They are perfect alright; perfect for radio.

If you ask me, the guy looks like a gay Elvis (not that there is anything wrong with that) and the woman looks Faith Hill after botched up plastic surgery.

Wait. People really want hair like John Stamos?


The Perfect Face?


What happens when you combine 007 Daniel Craig’s baby blue eyes, Leonardo DiCaprio’s nose and Matt Damon’s lips? Star decided to find out!

Using the results of a new survey by Beverly Hills plastic surgeons Toby Mayer and Richard Fleming, Star morphed the celeb body-parts most often requested by patients to create what should be the perfect man — and woman!

But is the end result — which also added Christian Bale’s jaw and John Stamos’ hair — all that good-looking?

As for the female morph, it’s Katie Holmes’ eyes, Katherine Heigl’s nose, Keira Knightley’s cheeks, Jessica Simpson’s long blonde hair and — not surprisingly — Angelina Jolie’s lips, “People want fullness, they want that pout,” says Dr. Fleming.


Surprise: Muslims Furious At Doritos

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Feb 232008
 

If Muslims have a problem with Doritos, don’t buy them and don’t eat them, simple!

If I recall correctly, didn’t Saddam love Doritos?

Muslims criticise Walkers after it is revealed that some crisp varieties contain alcohol


Furious Muslims have heavily criticised Walkers crisps after it emerged that certain varieties of the manufacturer’s products contain trace elements of alcohol.

Some crisp types use minute amounts of alcohol as a chemical agent to extract certain flavours.

The report in Asian newspaper Eastern Eye, highlights concerns raised by shopkeeper Besharat Rehman, who owns a halal supermarket in Bradford, West Yorkshire.

Mr Rehman told the paper: “A customer informed us that Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli and Doritos Chilli Heat Wave are not on Walkers’ alcohol-free list. Our suppliers were unaware of this.

“Even if it is a trace amount of alcohol, Walkers should make it clear on the packaging so that the customer can make an informed choice.

“I feel frustrated and angry. I have let my customers down simply because such a big company like Walkers is not sensitive to Muslim needs.

“Many of them were my daughter’s favourite crisps. As soon as I found out about the alcohol in them, I called home to ask my wife to throw out all the packets.”

Shuja Shafi, who chairs the food standards committee of the Muslim Council of Britain, said that he intended to investigate. “Certainly we would find it very offensive to have eaten food with alcohol.”

Masood Khawaja, of the Halal Food Authority, said that this was not the first time the issue had been raised with Walkers.

“They should have looked into the matter and solved it instead of hiding behind labelling regulations. It does not matter what percentage of alcohol is involved.

“Besides Muslims, there are a lot of teetotal people who would not like to consume alcohol in any form. As far as possible we try and lobby for halal symbols on popular products like Kellogg’s cereals.

“But we have always told Muslims to check the contents list even if a product is marked suitable for vegetarians. But to not mention it on the packaging is unfair.”

However, a spokesperson for Walkers said that trace amounts of alcohol in crisps or bread are believed to be permissible for Muslims.

“We do not add alcohol to our products. However, ethyl alcohol may be present in trace amounts in a very small number of our flavours.

“It is used as a carrying agent for flavourings, and is found in many common food and drink products.

“Foods like bread can also contain the same or higher trace amounts due to fermentation. “We are aware of the concerns from some Muslim consumers about the appropriateness of specific ingredients. We take the concerns of our consumers extremely seriously.

“In previous assessments by Muslim scholars, foods and drinks that contain trace amounts of ethyl alcohol have been confirmed as permissible for Muslim consumption because of both the fact that the ingredient does not bear its original qualities and does not change the taste, colour or smell of the product, and its very low level.”


“Hey Jude” Covered By a Diaper Wearing Asian Baby

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Feb 232008
 

This weekend’s entertainment: Hey Jude performed by a diaper wearing Asian baby. He holds a key better than William Hung and Ted Kennedy.

What am I saying? This kid sings better than at least half of the “top artists” today.

 
 

Ted Kennedy Sings For Osama … oops … Obama

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Feb 232008
 

If you needed evidence that Ted Kennedy has a problem with alcohol, here is your proof.

I would go hunting with Cheney before I would go riding with Teddy.

“This week, footage surfaced of Senator Ted Kennedy singing in Spanish to a Latino group. There was an awkward moment when someone in the crowd pointed at Kennedy’s head and said: “Look! The piñata is singing!” ….Conan O’Brien



Once again, Ted Kennedy belted out the 1940s hit “Ay Jalisco No Te Rajes” (Don’t Give Up On Me) during a campaign stop in Laredo. Back in June, audio of Kennedy singing the same song on a popular LA morning radio show became an Internet sensation.


Thoughts For Today

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Feb 232008
 

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement

He who hesitates is probably right.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ‘ XL.’

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

There’s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’