Jan 022008
- America is a country that doesn’t know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. (Laurence J. Peter)
- America is so vast that almost everything said about it is likely to be true, and the opposite is probably equally true. (James T. Farrell)
- America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. (Georges Clemenceau)
- America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still. (e. e. cummings)
- Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it’s better than no government at all.
- Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry. (Charles Osgood)
- Bread is the staff of life; toast a decadent capitalist luxury.
- Bureaucrats cut red tape…lengthwise!
- Congress is continually appointing fact-finding committees, when what we really need are some fact-facing committees. (Roger Allen)
- Congressmen are the finest body of men money can buy.
- A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. (Alfred E. Wiggam)
- A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. (Elbert Hubbard)
- A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. (Franklin Delano Roosevelt)
- Conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. The facts work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.
- Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. (George Bernard Shaw)
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
- Genghis Khan conquered Asia with an army only half the size of New York’s civil service.(N.Y. Times 8 Oct 1972)
- The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them which we are missing. (Gamel Nasser)
- The government fighting inflation is like the mafia fighting crime.
- Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
- Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masquerading as a moral principle.
- How prophetic L’Enfant was when he laid out Washington D. C. as a city that goes around in circles. (John Mason Brown)
- If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
- If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public. (Kin Hubbard)
- In America, anyone can be president. that’s one of the risks you take.
- In this country we get stuck with taxes, but in the old country we used to get stuck with bayonets. (from The Drifters by James A. Michener)
- Invest in America. Buy a Congressman!
- It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. (Voltaire)
- Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
- Keeping freedom safe from democracy.
- A liberal is a conservative who has gone to jail, and a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.
- A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist, and too rich to be a communist.
- A liberal thinks that goats are just sheep from broken homes.
- Many a person seems to think it isn’t enough for the government to guarantee him the pursuit of happiness. He insists it also run interference for him.
- My folks didn’t come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat. (Will Rogers)
- No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. (H. L. Mencken)
- Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons. (Bertrand Russell)
- Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. (George Bernard Shaw)
- Personal responsibility is a difficult thing to ask for in a nation which has attempted to find a societal “root cause” for all things. (Shapley R. Hunter, 1992)
- Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
- The problem with government is that it scratches where there ain’t no itch.
- The Puritans came to America to worship in their way – and to force everybody else to do the same.
- A real patriot is a fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices because the system works. (Bill Vaughn)
- The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. (Jay Leno)
- Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
- The supply of government exceeds the demand.
- Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
- Thank God we don’t get all the government we pay for.
- They proclaim that every man is entitled to exist without labor and, the laws of reality to the contrary notwithstanding, is entitled to receive his “minimum sustenance” – his food, his clothes, his shelter – with no effort on his part, as his due and his birthright. To receive it – from whom? (Ayn Rand)
- Washington D.C. is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
- Why do we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
- At a dinner for Commonwealth heads of state some years ago, the chief of protocol saw a guest pocket a gold salt cellar. He asked Winston Churchill what he should do. “Leave it to me” said Sir Winston, and proceeded to pocket a gold pepper-shaker. He then turned to the guilty party and whispered, “Oh, dear, the chief of protocol saw. We’d better put them both back.”
- The 10 Commandments contain 297 words.
The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words.
Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address contains 266 words.
A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words. - They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it worked for over 200 years and what the hell, we’re not using it anymore.
- To understand politics, we must read between the lies.
- TV announcer: “This has been a test…if it had been an actual emergency, the government would probably have kept it a secret!”
- When I was a boy I was told that anyone could become President; I’m starting to believe. (Clarence Darrow)
- You read about all these terrorists – most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you’re two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let’s put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
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