America is a country that doesn’t know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. (Laurence J. Peter)
America is so vast that almost everything said about it is likely to be true, and the opposite is probably equally true. (James T. Farrell)
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. (Georges Clemenceau)
America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn’t standing still. (e. e. cummings)
Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it’s better than no government at all.
Being Politically Correct means always having to say you’re sorry. (Charles Osgood)
Bread is the staff of life; toast a decadent capitalist luxury.
Bureaucrats cut red tape…lengthwise!
Congress is continually appointing fact-finding committees, when what we really need are some fact-facing committees. (Roger Allen)
Congressmen are the finest body of men money can buy.
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time. (Alfred E. Wiggam)
A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run. (Elbert Hubbard)
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk forward. (Franklin Delano Roosevelt)
Conspiracy theories depend on the perpetrators being endlessly clever. The facts work if you assume everyone is endlessly stupid.
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. (George Bernard Shaw)
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Genghis Khan conquered Asia with an army only half the size of New York’s civil service.(N.Y. Times 8 Oct 1972)
The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that there may be something to them which we are missing. (Gamel Nasser)
The government fighting inflation is like the mafia fighting crime.
Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
Hell hath no fury like a vested interest masquerading as a moral principle.
How prophetic L’Enfant was when he laid out Washington D. C. as a city that goes around in circles. (John Mason Brown)
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If there’s anything a public servant hates to do it’s something for the public. (Kin Hubbard)
In America, anyone can be president. that’s one of the risks you take.
In this country we get stuck with taxes, but in the old country we used to get stuck with bayonets. (from The Drifters by James A. Michener)
Invest in America. Buy a Congressman!
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. (Voltaire)
Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.
Keeping freedom safe from democracy.
A liberal is a conservative who has gone to jail, and a conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.
A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist, and too rich to be a communist.
A liberal thinks that goats are just sheep from broken homes.
Many a person seems to think it isn’t enough for the government to guarantee him the pursuit of happiness. He insists it also run interference for him.
My folks didn’t come over on the Mayflower, but they were there to meet the boat. (Will Rogers)
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. (H. L. Mencken)
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons. (Bertrand Russell)
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it. (George Bernard Shaw)
Personal responsibility is a difficult thing to ask for in a nation which has attempted to find a societal “root cause” for all things. (Shapley R. Hunter, 1992)
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
The problem with government is that it scratches where there ain’t no itch.
The Puritans came to America to worship in their way – and to force everybody else to do the same.
A real patriot is a fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices because the system works. (Bill Vaughn)
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. (Jay Leno)
Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
The supply of government exceeds the demand.
Sure you can trust the government! Just ask an Indian!
Thank God we don’t get all the government we pay for.
They proclaim that every man is entitled to exist without labor and, the laws of reality to the contrary notwithstanding, is entitled to receive his “minimum sustenance” – his food, his clothes, his shelter – with no effort on his part, as his due and his birthright. To receive it – from whom? (Ayn Rand)
Washington D.C. is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
Why do we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
At a dinner for Commonwealth heads of state some years ago, the chief of protocol saw a guest pocket a gold salt cellar. He asked Winston Churchill what he should do. “Leave it to me” said Sir Winston, and proceeded to pocket a gold pepper-shaker. He then turned to the guilty party and whispered, “Oh, dear, the chief of protocol saw. We’d better put them both back.”
The 10 Commandments contain 297 words. The Bill of Rights is stated in 463 words. Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address contains 266 words. A recent federal directive to regulate the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words.
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it worked for over 200 years and what the hell, we’re not using it anymore.
To understand politics, we must read between the lies.
TV announcer: “This has been a test…if it had been an actual emergency, the government would probably have kept it a secret!”
When I was a boy I was told that anyone could become President; I’m starting to believe. (Clarence Darrow)
You read about all these terrorists – most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster: you’re two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let’s put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.
