December 2007 - Page 11 of 12 - Common Sense Evaluation

Santa Technical Facts: Santa Spends Only 34 Microseconds At Each Stop

Amusing Comments Off

Dec 032007

As a kid, I never even considered the logistics. My only concern was that he made it to my house. This sounds like more spin from the US Surgeon General to make Santa drop a few pounds. Nice touch suggesting that the combined weight of Santa and his sleigh travelling at supersonic speed would result in total vaporization.

Santa Claus is coming to town — for 34 microseconds

Christmas is hectic for all but particularly for Santa, who must live in Kyrgyzstan and make his rounds at lightning speed if he is to deliver gifts to all the world’s children on time, a Swedish consultancy has concluded.

Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Santa Claus’s route around the planet includes stops at 2,5-billion homes, assuming that children of all religions receive a present from the jolly man in the red suit, Anders Larsson of the engineering consultancy Sweco told Agence France-Presse.

“We estimated that there are 48 people per square kilometre on Earth, and 20m between each home. So if Santa leaves from Kyrgyzstan and travels against the Earth’s rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents,” he said.

Father Christmas has long been believed to reside at the North Pole, although a number of northern towns, including Finnish Rovaniemi, claim to be his true home.

But Sweco’s report on Santa’s most efficient route — which takes into account factors like geographic density and the fewest detours — shows that he wouldn’t be able to make his round-the-world trip from there in time.

“He has 34 microseconds at each stop” to slide down the chimney, drop off the presents, nibble on his cookies and milk and hop back on his sleigh, Larsson said.

Santa’s reindeer must travel at a speed of 5 800 kilometres per second to make the trip on time.

Another report circulating on the internet suggested however that Santa’s sleigh, weighed down with presents and travelling at supersonic speed, would encounter such massive air resistance that the entire contraption would burst into flames and be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Previously:
US Surgeon General Says Santa Claus Is Fat And A Bad Role Model

Celebrity Plastic Surgery Disasters: Joan Van Ark Is The Latest Example

Other 1 Response »

Dec 032007

When will these celebrities learn it’s just better to age gracefully, and look natural?

Knots Landing star Joan Van Ark’s shocking look reveals her failure to turn back time

If actress Joan Van Ark of Knots Landing fame could turn back time – it’s safe to say the actress might think twice before ruining her once stunning looks with cosmetic surgery

Van Ark, 64, was seen at a benefit in Hollywood wearing a sober suit, and mask-like make-up which failed to hide the fact that she has appeared to have been under the surgeon’s knife. Several times.

The actress’ shocking appearance was not aided by her painted on eyebrows and heavy eye make-up which failed to conceal her blotchy skin.

And bizarrely she appeared to have forgotten to add lipstick to her highly-plumped lips – which had the effect of making her look cadaverous.

Global Incident Map Tracks Terror Activities

Amusing Comments Off

Dec 032007

If your interested in tracking incidents of terrorism and other nefarious activities wherever they occur throughout the world then look no further than the Global Incident Map.

This web site displays locations of terrorist events, airport and aviation incidents, biological and bomb incidents, radiation incidents, smuggling and other suspicious events. It also shows you that there is a lot more going on than is reported in the news.

Asinine Global Warming News Of The Day: Divorces Contributing To Global Warming

Amusing Comments Off

Dec 032007

If this were true, it would apply to any time that two households are maintained instead of one. So why are divorces singled out? By the way, Larry King and all of Hollywood is unavailable for comment.

Planet feels heat of divorce

UNHAPPY couples used to stick together for the sake of the kids. Now they can make the best of a bad marriage in the name of being environmentally friendly.

Scientists have quantified for the first time the extent to which divorce damages the environment. The researchers found that the combined use of electricity across the two new households created rose 53% while water use was up by 42%.

Across America – one of 12 countries studied – divorced households used 73 billion kilowatt-hours of electricity in 2005 that could have been saved if the families had not split up. That is equivalent to about a fifth of Britain’s consumption.

Broken couples also increase demand for housebuilding and infrastructure such as new roads. “The global trend of soaring divorce rates has created more households with fewer people, has taken up more space and has gobbled up more energy and water,” said Jianguo Liu of Michigan University, who carried out the latest research.

The study, to be published tomorrow in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, found that the average number of rooms per household was between 33% and 95% higher for divorced couples than for married ones.

Liu also calculated that America now has an extra 38.5m rooms in houses and apartments built to meet the demand for more accommodation generated by divorce over the past three decades.

The growth of single-person households is also damaging the environment. Research published in the journal Environment, Development and Sustainability found that:

– One-person households are the biggest consumers of energy, land and household goods, such as washing machines, refrigerators, TVs and stereos, per capita

– They consume 38% more products, 42% more packaging, 55% more electricity and 61% more gas per capita than four-person households

– People living alone create 1½ tons of waste annually compared with a ton by those in households of four or more

Two Year Old Fools The Art World With Ketchup Paintings

Amusing Comments Off

Dec 032007

If you always suspected that art critics were gullible and full of hot air, this proves you were right.

Toddler fools the art world into buying his tomato ketchup paintings

To the untrained eye, they appear to be simple daubs that could have been created by a two year old. Which is precisely what they are.

But that didn’t stop the supposed experts falling over themselves to acclaim them.

The toddler in question is Freddie Linsky, who has fooled the art world into buying and asking to exhibit his paintings.

Freddie’s efforts, which include works using tomato ketchup composed while sitting on his high chair, were posted by his mother Estelle Lovatt on collector Charles Saatchi’s online gallery.

She claimed her son was an art critic and and a familiar face at major exhibitions, and added ludicrously overblown captions to his offerings.

One creation of random red and green splodges called Sunrise was captioned: “A bold use of colour. Inspired by the ‘plein air’ habit of painting by Monet, drawing on the natural world that surrounds us all.”

And his black scrawlings in a work entitled The Best Loved Elephant are captioned:

“The striking use of oriental calligraphy has the kanji-like characters stampeding from the page, showing the new ascent of the East. It is one of Linsky’s most experimental works.”

Freddie is said to favour the “spot and blotch” technique pioneered by the American abstract expressionism movement in the 1950s.

The young artist is said on Saatchi Online to have “dedicated his whole life to art”.

His mother wrote: “Freddie W R Linsky paints over and over, making us curious to know what is going on.

“It seems that one stroke is being repeated – the same stroke or one very close to it, hence the possibility of the infinite opening up of the structure of time.”

Freddie’s mother, a lecturer at Hampstead School of Art and a freelance art critic, said she never dreamt anyone would be duped by her over-the-top descriptions.

But a Manchester artist and collector paid £20 for one of Freddie’s works and a gallery in Berlin wanted him to showcase his talents.

She said: “Freddie has been coming with me to galleries since he was three months old. and from eight months he was dipping his fingers into paint and able to hold a brush loosely.

“He sits on his high chair with a piece of paper and gets very excited at the mess he gets to make.

He has progressed from ketchup to acrylics on paper or canvas. I wondered whether the art world would be encouraging or dismissive if I showed his work online.

“I thought people would figure it out. But a collector paid £20 for The Best Loved Elephant. He said he liked the flow and energy of the picture.

“A gallery in Berlin emailed, saying they were having an exhibition and thought Freddie’s work was of a high standard and would like him to participate.

“I wrote on his behalf thanking them and asked them to let us know how their plans progress. They still don’t know he’s only two.”

Older Entries Newer Entries