Joke Of The Day: Getting To Know You

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Jul 282013
 

Rubber ChickenA man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She protested, “But we don’t know anything about each other.”

He replied, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along.”

So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, “That was incredible!”

He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about each other as we went along.”

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end. She did laps in freestyle, breast-stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing heavy.

He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”

No, she said, “I was a hooker in Fort Worth and I worked both sides of the Trinity river.”.

 

 

Joke Of The Day: Overseas Adventure

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Jul 212013
 

Rubber ChickenA mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter’s plane. She had just come back from a far away land where she was trying to find love and adventure.

As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her. He was dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and was carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband.

The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, “I said for you to marry a RICH doctor! A RICH doctor!”

 

 

Fixing The Downspout

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Jul 102013
 

My wife said “Fix that gutter downspout TODAY!”

So I invited the boys over.

One brought his welder, the others brought beer.

Took us about 4 hours, mostly for the beer, but we got the downspout fixed.

My wife is still speechless…

I am certain not for much longer, though…

 

Tin Man Downspout