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After years of marriage the wife asked her husband to describe her.
The husband looked at her slowly and without blinking an eye, said ABCDEFGHIJK “What does that mean?” She asked. “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fashionable, Gorgeous and Hot” he replied. Wife Smiling asked, “What about IJK?” He replied: I’m Just Kidding! |
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A woman has three daughters who get married. She asks them to write to her in two words to describe their happiness.
The first daughter gets married and after three days the woman gets a note. It reads ‘Maxwell House’. The woman was confused but then read an advertisement in the paper for Maxwell House coffee reading: “Satisfaction guaranteed”. So the woman was happy for her daughter. The second daughter gets married and after seven days the woman gets a note. It reads ‘Rothmans Cigarettes’. The woman was baffled but then read an advertisement in the paper reading “Lifetime, King-size”. So the mother was very happy that her daughter had married well. The third daughter gets married, but the woman is worried, it’s been four weeks and no word. Finally, on the fifth week the woman gets a note. It reads “British Airways”. So then mom rushed to read an advertisement about British Airways, and shock, horror! She faints. The advertisement read: “Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways”. |
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My wife, a registered nurse, once fussed over every pain or mishap that came my way. Recently, however, I got an indication that the honeymoon is over.
I was about to fix the attic fan, and as I lifted myself from the ladder in the attic, I scratched my forehead on a crossbeam. Crawling along, I picked up splinters in both hands, and I cut one hand replacing the fan belt. On the way down the ladder, I missed the last two rungs and turned my ankle. When I limped into the kitchen, my wife took one look and said, “Are those your good pants?” |